Top Ten Reasons You Know You’re Working at an Aid Organization Headquarters

This may give a little insight into the life I lead (even though I’m not at a headquarters). Hope you find this funny too but I don’t know if humanitarian humor translates, or if you just have to be there . . . .

Top Ten Reasons You Know You’re Working at an Aid Organization Headquarters

- According to David Letterman (The Late Show on CBS)

1. You just had a pre-meeting to discuss your strategy planning session for

the new initiative to reduce poverty by increasing access to safe

water/credit/food/health care through fair and equitable distribution to

those with the right to said good or service through engagement with duty

bearers in the government and other stakeholders and civil society

organizations.

2. You just repeatedly slammed your head into your keyboard after spending

the last 20 minutes trying to get your Skype conference call between Port

au Prince, West Bank/Gaza, Delhi, Nairobi and New York to work only to fail

miserably.

3. You realize that you can no longer squeeze into your cubicle past that

cool hand-woven cloth from Mali, the wooden mask from Congo, the elephant

figurine from Thailand and the rug from Afghanistan.

4. You just completed an annual report to your donor explaining that you’re

very sorry that you only managed to accomplish 2 of your 14 objectives due

to sudden onset of war, drought or an invasion of futuristic nano-robots.

5. You just finished explaining to the donor that you are likely to need a

two-year extension and an extra $200,000 to hire an independent consulting

company to come up with a plan to fight off the nano-robots, carry out said

plan and then finish up the original activities.

6. You realize that you just used cheers, karibu, Insh’Allah or namaste in

casual conversation despite the fact that you are neither English, Kenyan,

Arab or Indian.

7. You realize that your favorite and most frequented cafe is located in

Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam.

8. You just finished depressing a volunteer caller from the Red Cross for

the 12th time this year who reluctantly agreed that you are not eligible to

donate blood because you just got back from <fill in malarial region here>.

9. You’re pumped with antibiotics more frequently than a cow in a

concentrated feeding operation

10. You tell yourself it’s not failure if you turn it into a

lessons-learned document.